Taking responsiblity

I recently had to let go of relationships I’ve had for a long time because they were no longer healthy for me to keep. It’s very difficult when you realize the people who are suppose to be your friends, bring more negative than positive energy into your life.

Looking back at my life, I feel I have made excuses for people to treat me unkindly, because I chose to believe the best about them.  Although I received inconsiderate, rude, and sometimes disrespectful behavior – I chose to believe the best of who they are – “they must of had a bad day“, “they didn’t mean it“.  The only problem with that is, I was the only person who saw it.  I was living in a reality that didn’t exist. My own utopia.

I think everyone reaches a point in their life when they say “no more” – and I reached mine.

My no more moment came when I realized I needed to take full responsibility of my life, in all aspects.  I could no longer make excuses for energy that brought me down because I wanted the person to stay in my life. It is selfish of me to do that to the other person and to myself.

I had to let go of a long love that I’ve wanted in my life. He did not share the same vision for us as I did, although he loved me.  My love remained open like a revolving door.  Each time he contacted me, I was always available, and hardly hesitated.  But I would quickly be reminded that my heart wasn’t safe or protected.  He remained undecided, unclear, and unwillingly to pursue what he told me was in his heart. Days and months would pass as I would await his call, until I had to eventually forget about him.  When I did, he reappeared.  Excitement – anticipation – disappointment – hurt – forget about him.  It was the cycle for years.  I decided he no longer served a purpose.  I had to take responsibility for the energy he was bringing into my life, even if he wasn’t going to take responsibility for his.

It’s important to be clear about what you want in your life, so you know the energy you need to support you and continue to push you forward. People are not going to take responsibility for their energy, so you have to take responsibility for the energy you allow to be brought into your life.

Forgive, take responsibility, and move on.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.